Tuesday, February 15, 2022
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I love you dad. I'm so sorry I wasnt there. I miss you so much and it hurts so bad. I know your happy now that your with mom but a selfish part of me wishes you were here and never left. Everyday all I think about is all the things you taught me and the live you shared with everyone. I cry constantly thinking about what we missed out on together. I'm trying so hard to make you proud but it seems like every step I take I get pushed four steps back. I've tried so hard to keep the thoughts at bay but they always come back worse then the last. I lost my best friend the day I lost you. It isnt fair. Idk what to do anymore. It's like all the happiness in my life is gone now. Please show me something to make it a lil better please. I cant stand this pain and anger inside of me at my self and others. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I didnt take advantage of the time we had together. U raised me to be an amazing man and it's because of you that I found the path in life I get to walk today u and mom sacrificed so much for me crystal and ruth and I wanna say thank you in so many ways. U showed me what it means to step up and be a father and a man and do what needs to be done.. I just hope I can be even half the man father and husband that you are. I love you pops please rest easy and give mom a hug and kiss from me. Till we meet again cupcake candle bcuz Ik you loved your sweets lmao ttyl dad love ya
